Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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