i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
