Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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