I am puke
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
