i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
