She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
