capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
