Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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