Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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