you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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