I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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