And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
