he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
