Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
