That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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