You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
