I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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