Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We have started to decorate penises.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
