How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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