I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
