can u get pink eye on your cock?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
