If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
