I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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