guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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