he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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