he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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