Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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