U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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