I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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