can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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