I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
