i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
