Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
