oh god the rape fog is back!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize
