If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
