Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
