She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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