dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
