gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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