we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
