I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I love having hate sex.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
