The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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