my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
