What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
