I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just google imaged poop.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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