Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm really into asian looking animals
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
