either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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