This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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