what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
