what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
