you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
